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Any schmuck can be an expert, and I prove it

I’m not an expert in anything. So what’s wrong with people that they lined up to ask me their most confidential personal and professional problems? Click here.

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When your date would rather kill herself than finish the date

It hasn’t been a full life if somebody hasn’t hated you enough to sprint 1,000 feet down a 30-degree embankment, filled with loose rocks and cactus and ending at the shoulder of a major freeway, rather than remain inside a car with you. Click here.

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The quest to get back my foreskin

I consult a company that claims to be able to grow back that which was taken from me without permission. Click here.

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Happy anniversary/porn awards, honey!

So I take my wife to the AVN porn awards for our anniversary dinner. What could go wrong? Actually, judging by the following sampling of tweets I got reacting to the story, quite a bit, but not like I expected. Thanks, Tasha Reign, for all the new Twitter followers!  

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Is sperm vegan?

One investigation your significant other may find hard to swallow.

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My Airbnb family vacation …w/ an unwanted stranger

I thought I scored an Internet bargain. But I never bargained on this guy!

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So a naked guy boards a bus

  My surprising investigation into what happens when you wear a naked suit on a public bus.

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That time I got thrown in jail & nearly shanked for farting

One terrifying possible drawback of lactose intolerance.

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Alex Trebek saw me naked!

You don’t know what Jeopardy feels like until its host is staring you in the penis.

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Angelina Jolie sexually harassed me (TRUE story)

You’re alone in a room with the future Mrs. Brad Pitt, and she’s coming onto you hard. What do you do?

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